Another list worth adding

As the end of the year approaches, it seems that we are being inundated with lists of all descriptions, the greatest leaders of the past century, the greatest inventions, the greatest disasters and so on. This is a common occurrence around landmark dates and, with this being the end of the century and the millenium, it's much worse than usual.

So I thought what the hell, I may a well join in with a few lists of my own, so join me now if you will for . . . drum roll please . . . the 10 dumbest haircuts of the 20th century.

1. The Mullet: Short at the front, long at the back, here's a haircut that manages to knock a good 50 IQ points of anyone who wears it.

2. The Comb over: A post Second World War invention for middle-aged men trying desperately to be part of the growing youth culture, fools absolutelyu no-one.

3. The Advertising Executive Ponytail: Too tempting to actually grab one of these wankes by the hair and bang his head agains his BMW's bonnet.

4. The Bob: Made famous in the 1920s but keeps bobbing back. Looks good if you're an elf-thin flapper, other wise it makes your head look like a pumpkin.

5. The mohawk: Once a sign of punk rebellion, all a mohawk means these days is that you and your mated got pissed last night and got out mum's hair clippers.

6. Dreadlocks on white people: Oh boy, talk about trying too hard. Sometimes as a whitey you have to accept the fact that emulating another culture's hairstyle is not doinf anyone any good.

7. The Bo Derek: What were we thinking, the only good thing about this was it came about the same time as the jogging craze and some Bo Derek wearers actually managed to knowck themsleves out with their wildly swinging beads.

8. Eighties Big Hair: Apart from being responsible for the hole in the ozone layer, this made a whole decade of women look like their heads were being used as a breeding ground for endangered birds.

9. Ridiculous colouring: Funny, isn't it, but as we come to the end of the decade the people with the most in-common hair-wise are young punks and their vlue-rinsed grandmothers. I remember my nanna spent several of her twilight years with her hair a lovely shade of bright pink, a colour I haven't seen since, until I popped into a Newtown pub, a spied a clutch of young pool-playing girls who'd dyed their hair the same colour. Nanna would have been proud of them. Guaranteed to promote premature blading.

10. The Farrah Fawcett: Sadly making a bit of a comeback due to the whole '70s retro thing. Come on people, a hair cut that's based on a red setter's facial expression is a dumb idea, as is it's male version, the Lief Garrett or Sean Cassidy. Popular with pop stars in the '70s and football players to the present day.

I know this list isn't all-encompassingand it's very subjective, partly from a man whose had the same haircut since his first communion, but I feel with the new millenium it's an important socio-economic area worth investigating.

Next week: The 10 Dumbest Inventions of the 20th Century, starting, I think, with hair gel.

-Mikey Robins