by Mikey Robins

Lask week I promised you some stories about my trips to Ireland and Las Vegas, but as was pointed out to me by my wife, that would be as interesting as sitting through your boring uncle's slide night. She also pointed out that my dress sense had slipped; that I was too old to get around in the latest fancy Nikes; that I didn't suit a beard and that my hair looked bad without gel. So seeing as both destinations are popular with Aussies, I thought I'd offer travel advice instead.

• Every Irish man or woman has a relative living in either Sydney, Perth or Cairns, and they get very annoyed if you don't know them. So nod your head and say "oh yeah he/she used to share a flat with a mate of mine". They'll appreciate the effort and buy you a Guinness.