Concerning Bliss What is Bliss? Its a state of delirious ignorance that most of us grow out of. By Paul McDermott. All of us have heard the phrase "ignorance is bliss", but do we comprehend it? To understand ignorance we need to look at America. The cornerstone of its Constitution is the "pursuit of happiness". However, the Americans don't just pursue happiness, they give it a head-high tackle. They pull happiness to the ground and brand it. How is it they can be so happy? They don't have to try hard, they just don't think about it. Eighty-seven per cent of Americans believe that Elvis is alive; 65 per cent believe Jesus was an alien; 15 per sent have been sodamised by a ghost, and 39 of them, in the Heaven's Gate cult, all wearing Nikes, went to join a spaceship in the tail of a comet.* When the Yanks say "Just Do It" they really mean it. In America, an executive decision is choosing between Coke and Pepsi, and "The X-Files" is a documentary. The truth is out there, and as far as the Americans are concerned it can stay out there. That is why they're so happy. Hillary Clinton said, "It takes a village." I'd say it takes a village idiot! And he became president. Speaking of Ronald Reagan, he is going through a difficult time. He is suffering from Alzheimer's disease, and its reached a stage where he no longer recalls he was the president of the US, which isn't that suprising because I seem to have erased that period from my mind as well. But apart from being permanently confused he seems to be quite happy. When were you last truly happy? Peel back the years of misery and you will find a time of unparalleled rapture. It was before you were educated in preschool. Preschool, before school, when the most intellegent thing you did was "quiet time". When you lay there on the heated floor cocooned in a world of silent wonder, beautifully stupid, blissfully ignorant. Preschool, just one year before the terrible realisation in 1st class that the world is a sham. Your parents were liars, Santa didn't exist, the Bionic Man was just a dream, and a single world currency would never be achieved in your lifetime. A little knowledge is a terrible thing. I cannot remember anyone saying "intelligence is bliss". The greatest minds of the past few centuries have been stuck in a spiral of misery. You would think if they were so smart they could make themselves happy. Einstein was constantly complaining. His solution to saving energy was wearing the same shirt day in, day out. Artists, writers, scientists and intellectuals have suffered needlessly for their art. From Nietzshe to Hemingway, from Van Gogh to Satre, they all went mad, killed themselves or had funny-looking eyes. Our desperate search for knowledge and self-improvement is holding us back from true happiness. The truth is we think too much. The Bible says the birds in the field are ahppy. You ever wonder why the bird in the field are so happy? It's because they're stupid. It's not because the Lord God gives them all they need. It's because they don't understand logarithmic progressions, systems of weights and pulleys or modern methods of amputation. Rhinos don't worry about the mortgage payments on the Serengeti. Dolphins don't think: "Gee, should have sent the kids to the private school." Pandas don't have to colour co-ordinate the bathroom. They don't have to worry that they've just turned 45, their family has left them, there's no one to turn to, that they have have no prospect of a job, that the big black lump growing on their flank is a malignant tumor. In the popular film "Babe", a pig was happily ignorant of the fact he wasn't a sheep dog. He was unaware he was nothing more than leg ham and middle rashers. Ignorance is strength and that little pig proved it. So what if they roll around in their own s---, it's a small price to pay for happiness. The truth is out there, let's keep it out there. The way to a happier life is through ignorance, ask anyone, just ask them slowly. * These statistics are falified, yet this should not effect their credibility.