Should the Royal Family Go?
Excuse me for a seoncd while I get comfortable on my soap box. Ah, that's better. A man my size has to be damned careful is he expects a soap box to hold him for a while.
Right, now the republic - oh come on don't turn the page I've managed to avoid it for so long, please.
Right here's how I see it: I don't care if you are for the directly elected model or you prefer the one the Australian Republican Movement has thrown up or maybe you're a monarchist. I think you'd all have to agree that when it comes to humour the republicans have been a little laclustre wheras the "God Save The Queen" bunch have been downright hysterical.
Let's start with their T-shirt, with the slogan "No Republic" with the famous (and hideously dated) "Ghostbusters" insignia around it. Didn't anyone is the monarchist camp tell them that this is a double negative, that they are in fact saying no, no repbulic. I have a deep suspicion that Malcolm Turnbull owns the merchandising rights for these T-shirts, and is reaping a tiny profit from his enemies while getting his own message across. You gotta laugh.
Then there's the ad, sung in a deep, butch voice by country crooner James Blundell, who according to rumour, is a republican and only did the ad for the cash (maybe he's got a finger in the T-shirt pie as well). And let's not forget their choice of spokespeople. Whose bright ideas was it to drag Bill Hayden out of slumber to say a few words for the status quo? Now if my memory serves me well, when Hayden was Governor-General he racked up enough frequent flyer points to make Mal Colston look like he had a fear of flying. Good to hear from you again, Billy boy.
Come on, even if you have a life-size diorama of the Queen trooping the colour in a floodlight gallery on your front lawn, you'd have to chuckle at the public realations job they've done so far.
Oh, did I mention that they've got Flo Bjelke-Petersen in to help the cause. Now that's really going to have an big effect on the 18-35, undecided demographic.
But the best joke the monarchists have played is the nature of their campaign. Where's all the queen and country stuff, the strong ties of history, the stability of the Westminister system and so on. They've hardly mentioned it! Instead their ads seem to focus on supporting throwing out the "yes" vote because it doesn't let the punter elect the president.
What's the matter? Are they worried that their argument consists of having an Australian head of state who lives on the other side of the world, is chosen by being the first born male from an incredibly wealthy family whose major skills seem to be opening fetes and fallinf off polo poies onto naked page three models, and whose major contribution to the economy is the selling of the sort of magazines that are read under the hairdressing dryers.
I mean if that's the best we can hope for why don't we elect The Scarsdale Diet as our head of state.
Look maybe you want to elect the president or maybe you support the model on offer, all I'm saying is the monarchists have such a poor argument it seems that even they are emabarrassed about it.
Personally I'll be sad to see the Royal Family go from our lives they're so . . . bloody funny. #
-mikey robins